I’m sure everyone can agree that a major contributor to the struggles we face when going sober and also something that often makes people feel like they don’t want to go sober, is the fear of missing out. Even when I was at The Priory (rehab) as an inpatient for mental health and addiction for the second time, I still had FOMO and was questioning how I’d live my life moving forward. How am I going to live such a boring life? There’s no way I’ll ever have fun again. I won't have any friends and I'll be alone forever. What do sober people actually do? Will I end up alone, knitting and doing jigsaws? (Actually, quite like a jigsaw.) I had a major concern that I would be forever ‘boring' after giving up alcohol and I felt like I was going to lose my identity. And what's funny is that people still say to me now, "Mate, how do you do it? Not drinking must be so boring!!!” But the truth is, being sober isn't boring at all. In fact, it's the complete opposite! It's realising that the sunshine and excitement of life extend far beyond the bottom of a bottle and spending all your free time in pubs and clubs. It's about experiencing true, deep connections, genuine laughter, and meaningful moments that aren't clouded by numbing everything through throwing back a dangerous amount of poison (which was the case with me). So what are we actually missing out on? If you're a 'normal' person, then yeah, you can argue that drinking has benefits and because you can moderate it's fun and nice to switch off after a stressful week and all that blah, blah… But I'm not 'normal' and I can't moderate and I took myself to the pits of hell through drinking on numerous occasions. So for me personally, what am I missing out on? Isolation? The loss of all my mates, family and girlfriend? Not having any kind of career, financial devastation and living under a bridge like a troll? Fear, anxiety and all those panic attacks?
No thanks! But even if you're not like me and didn’t take things to such an extreme, what are you missing out on? Going out to the same bars and the same places, spending stupid amounts of money on acting like an idiot, annoying everyone around you, saying or doing things you wouldn't usually do, and then spending the whole of Sunday wanting to hide in bed and not see or speak to anyone? I’d always feel incredible shame, guilt and regret and say.. “I'm never drinking again!" Then repeat it all over again the following weekend. Has anyone ever woken up on a Sunday, turned over and said, "Oh, how I love being hungover, I feel amazing & it's so nice how my head's killing me and it feels like I have sandpaper in my mouth!" No, they really haven't. So for me personally, it's now actually the complete opposite. When I think about drinking again, I get FOMO. But the fear of missing out on everything I’ve now found from going sober and how I've opened up a world of benefits that I know I can’t ever afford to lose.
Mental clarity and the opportunity to work on my mental health instead of making it worse. Improved physical health, confidence, deeper connections, discovering new hobbies and interests, experiencing life's moments authentically. Waking up with a clear head, pursuing passions and still being able to go out to pubs but I just do it sober. I'm actually having a better time now that I'm my true self and not some crazy, out-of-control, nightmare version on a mission of self-destruction. Because being sober really isn't about being dull; it's about living life to the full, realising your true potential, having purpose, clarity, and genuine joy and embracing this one life we get and making the most of it. If you're still struggling with FOMO and feeling like you’re missing out (like I did for so long), trust me it does get easier. Write down all the things you’re worried about missing out on and then do the same but for everything you would miss out on if you started drinking again like before. I guarantee the one list overpowers the first immensely. So to end, if sobriety means I’m boring now and by being happy, content, full of positivity and excitement for the future makes me a real bore, then I’m happy to be ‘boring’. I embrace the ‘sober boredom’ and will stand and shout from the rooftops, “I, my friends, am the most ‘boring’ person you could ever meet!” Embrace being ‘boring’!
