Alcohol use in older adults has been trending upwards over the years, particularly among women. One epidemiological study determined that in the United States between 2001 and 2013, among people 65 and older, the rate of alcohol use disorder increased 107%. (1) There is no doubt that COVID and the resulting isolation increased this number considerably. I am one of those older adults. My path to problem drinking began later in life. Although I had lots of unaddressed childhood trauma including family violence, parental alcohol abuse, divorce, early loss of my parents and loss of a child, I was pretty much a take-it-or-leave it drinker. I drank socially, never alone. Then, in my mid-50s I was hit with a multitude of contributing factors, menopause, empty nesting, step-parenting and working as a social worker in child welfare where I was exposed to secondary traumatic stress and system stress on a daily basis, I found myself coming home from work and escaping with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, then two, then three, then the entire bottle. Repeat. My friends and colleagues had no idea how bad it had gotten, but my family did. On July 12, 2019, after an out-of-control drinking episode on the previous evening, my adult daughter, Lindsay sat down in front of me and said, “Mom, if you don’t do something about your drinking, you will not be able to have the relationship you want with me, Jason and the kids.” At that moment, the price for continuing to drink became too high and I never picked up another glass. It was certainly not all rainbows and unicorns. I was angry and believed that I would be the most boring person on the planet when I stopped drinking. What I discovered is that I am a much better mother, teacher, partner, friend, and colleague as a sober person. I am a much better listener – I don’t need to be the center of attention anymore. In fact, I love my new role as an observer, getting to know people, and connecting on a much deeper level.
My family can count on me because I am predictable and present. My grandchildren feel safe around me, especially when I am the only one in the room who is not drinking. Case in point: Last week, I got a phone call from my granddaughter, Rylan, asking for a girls’ sleepover. I cannot think of a better benefit from being sober than that. I have a third more to my day. I sleep at night, lost ten pounds, exercise, journal every day, wrote a book and am starting on my second. I am very active in the recovery world because being of service and hearing other peoples’ stories ground me in my own sobriety. My health is better, my brain is no longer foggy, and I love knowing I will never have another hangover again. And then, there’s the science. Once you know what alcohol does to our bodies (thanks to books like This Naked Mind/Annie Grace and Alcohol Explained/William Porter) I know I can never go back. I love to know that my decision to stop drinking gives me a better chance of adding years to my life. The good news is older adults have the best recovery rate in alcohol addiction of any age group. I am so grateful to be among them. (1) Sugarman, D and Greenfiled, S. “Rising Alcohol Use Among Older Adults”. September 21, 2021. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/rising-alcohol-use-among-older-adult-202109242599 on October 30, 2023.
