When did you first realise that you might have a drinking problem and then start thinking about sobriety?
I've been sober for about 11 years now, and the realisation hit me in my late 30s. I was going through a period of intense depression, and in an attempt to numb the pain, I turned to alcohol and drugs. It's funny looking back; I was in constant denial about having a problem, despite the years spent using substances to cope with anxiety and misery. It's interesting how denial can be such a powerful force.
Can you share more about the circumstances that led to this realisation?
Absolutely. I was working on Coronation Street at the time, away from home frequently, and my depression was at its peak. I reached a point where I would do anything to alleviate the pain, and unfortunately, I thought alcohol and drugs were the solution, at least temporarily. It wasn't until my late 30s that I found myself caught in this cycle.
You mentioned your husband, Lincoln, and how you both got sober together. Can you elaborate on that and how your relationship played a role in your journey to sobriety?
Lincoln and I met in a nightclub at 6:00 in the morning, and we got sober within two months of each other. We often reflect on where we would be if we hadn't met. It's intriguing to think that the nightclub we met in eventually closed, possibly due to our sobriety. We've always wondered about the impact our meeting had on each other's lives. It sounds like a significant turning point in your life. Going back to your struggles, did you find yourself drinking alone at home, or was it more about going out? It was a mix of both. I would drink alone at home, but I was also adept at hiding the extent of my struggles. I wasn't the stereotypical image of a mother with a bottle in the morning; my drinking was more binge-oriented. I didn't drink every night, but when I did, it took over my life.
Your journey highlights the complexities of addiction. Looking back, do you have any regrets or things you wish you could change?
Of course, there are moments I wish I could redo, especially in terms of my children's experiences. However, a friend recently reminded me that my past has shaped who I am today, enabling me to be the person and mother I am now. It's a delicate balance between acknowledging mistakes and appreciating the growth that came from overcoming them.
How do you fill your time? Any new hobbies or activities?
Surprisingly, I don't seem to have much free time. Between work commitments and our love for travel, every moment is accounted for. Recently, we returned from a three-week trip to America to be with our son on tour. Family time has become a cherished priority, especially considering the time my eldest son, Matty, spends away on tour. Our idea of a hobby is enjoying comfy clothes and indulging in true crime documentaries. It might not be conventional, but it works for us.
Did anyone of your family members or friends say, Denise, you need to cut back the drinking?
The decision to stop drinking wasn't something I had planned. It was more of a culmination of various factors in my life. One significant influence was my sister, who expressed concerns about my drinking habits. While I initially resented her for it, looking back, I understand her perspective better now. She played a crucial role in caring for my children, and her worries were valid. It sounds like family dynamics and concerns from loved ones played a role in your journey.
How did your relationship with your sister and other family members impact your decision to quit drinking?
My sister's concerns were a source of tension, and there were times when we weren't completely estranged but faced difficulties. However, my father, who I unfortunately lost two years ago, was my constant support. He never judged me, even when he had every reason to. His unconditional love was a significant influence, and he often took my side against my sister, attributing my struggles to depression. I think he understood that my drinking was linked to trying to cope with my depression, even though, in reality, it was worsening the situation.
How did your depression intertwined with your alcohol use, and how has giving up drinking impacted your mental health?
I want to emphasise that giving up drinking didn't magically cure my depression. Instead, it stopped compounding the issue. Drinking on top of depression and antidepressants only prolonged the duration of my depressive episodes. When I stopped drinking, it didn't eliminate my depression, but it made it more manageable and shortened the duration. I've been free of depressive episodes since 2019, and while I don't consider it completely gone, I am grateful not to wake up in fear of my illness anymore.
How did you navigate professional and social situations after quitting drinking?
It was undoubtedly challenging, especially in my line of work, which involved a lot of social interactions. Initially, I struggled with confidence and the fear of not fitting in. Sobriety meant relearning how to engage with people without relying on alcohol. It was a process, but over time, I discovered the joy of genuine connections without the need for substances.
Can you share more about the role that your husband, Lincoln, played in your sobriety, and how facing the challenges together strengthened your marriage?
Lincoln has been my rock throughout this journey. Facing sobriety together wasn't always easy, and we sometimes found ourselves being judgmental about others' drinking habits. However, having each other for support made all the difference. Our marriage became stronger, and sobriety became a foundation for a more fulfilling life. I often reflect on the fact that without sobriety, we might not have the incredible relationship we have today.
What advice would you give to others who may be struggling with alcohol dependency or mental health issues?
My advice would be to seek support, whether from loved ones, friends, or professionals. It's essential to recognise that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sobriety is a personal journey, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Be kind to yourself, understand that setbacks may happen, but each day is a new opportunity to make positive choices. And most importantly, know that you're not alone in this journey.
