Why it’s so easy to drink more than you intend to

The life cycle of most drugs (including alcohol) is as follows:

1. Experimental – When you first take a recreational drug (i.e., one that is not taken for medical purposes), the first few doses are taken out of curiosity or a desire to fit in. At this stage, we don't need the drug, but we are curious, adventurous, and see that other people seem to be doing it and enjoying it, so we want to try it to fit in.

2. Enjoyment – After taking the drug a few times, it seems to confer a benefit, and we enjoy that benefit. With drinking, it appears to help us socialise and relax, so we continue because we enjoy it.

3. Necessity – After a short period, we start to actually need the drug. There is no clear delineation between this stage and the previous one. We enjoy drinking, but there are times when, for example, we might have to drive, so we go out for the evening to a social event and don’t drink. We find that we don’t enjoy the event quite as much, so there is a slow and subtle shift from drinking because we enjoy it to drinking because we now need it to fully enjoy a social event.

4. Problem – Drugs have a downside, and alcohol has some very clear ones. Beyond the hangover, it also has the physiological effect of preventing us from going through the natural sleep cycles necessary to wake up feeling refreshed, invigorated, and energetic. It also raises our heart rate and blood pressure, and when this happens, the body takes immediate action to try to bring it back down again. It does this by making us feel heavy and lethargic to slow things down again. So every drinker knows that although they enjoy or need alcohol, it has a very negative effect by making them feel constantly lethargic and tired.

At this stage, we have a choice of three options:

1. Carry on regardless – This is what most people do. They bury their head in the sand, believing that life won’t be as enjoyable without alcohol, and the thought of doing something about it is too scary and overwhelming to contemplate. They tell themselves that their lack of energy and constant tiredness is just due to age or the hectic, busy life they lead. They can’t bear the thought of doing without their precious drug, so they close their minds to the downside and carry on.

2. Quit – This is the best long-term option: to stop doing something we didn’t need before we started but now can’t seem to do without. If you can relearn what you instinctively knew before you started drinking – to live life and enjoy it without a drink in hand – then you’ll start sleeping properly, have more energy, and live a far better and more enjoyable life. However, it’s the hardest option in the short term, as we need to make a conscious effort to extricate ourselves from the mental and physical trap we’ve become embroiled in.

3. Moderate – Cutting down seems like the best option for many. We can’t imagine a life without drinking, so we think that moderating or cutting down will provide the perfect solution. We still get to drink, but by cutting down, we reduce the downside.

To see our drinking as a problem, to accept that it is causing considerable harm and that our life may be far better without it, takes courage and imagination. If you are at this stage, even if you haven’t quit or successfully cut down, you are already one step ahead of the pack, because most people allow their fear of a life without drinking to dictate their response, and that response is to bury their head in the sand and just carry on.

So although cutting down can seem like a good option, it is inherently difficult. Why is this?

Alcohol is a sedative. It is an external drug that alters how our brains work. By ‘external’ I mean that it is not a drug that our brain creates and excretes. Drugs like cortisol, adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine are all naturally produced by the brain. This process is known as ‘homeostasis’, and it simply means that our brain endeavours to create and maintain a delicate balance of all the chemicals, drugs, and hormones that it naturally excretes. Our brain is always striving to maintain this balance.

When we consume alcohol, our brain senses a disturbance to this process and takes steps to counter it. It releases adrenaline and cortisol (a stress hormone) to counter the sedating effect of the alcohol. When the alcohol then wears off, these chemicals remain for a period, leaving us feeling uptight and anxious. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Whatever dulled feeling alcohol produces, there is a corresponding feeling of anxiety when it wears off.

This uptight feeling we get when the alcohol starts to wear off is unpleasant. So how do we get rid of this unpleasant feeling? There are two ways. The thorough, complete way to get rid of it is to wait a few days for our brain chemistry to return to normal. If you do this, you need never experience this unpleasant feeling again.

The problem is that a few days feel like a very long time when you are feeling anxious and out of sorts, and there is a far quicker way to get rid of this feeling: take another drink. After all, we feel horrible because our brain is geared up to work under the sedating effect of alcohol, but there is no alcohol in our system. Taking another drink will immediately correct that chemical imbalance. This is the great pleasure in drinking for regular drinkers. We go from feeling anxious, uptight, and uncomfortable to feeling relaxed, confident, and happy in the time it takes to raise a glass to our mouths and take a gulp. So it’s an immediate fix, but an entirely superficial one, because that drink will wear off, and we will need another, and another, and another.

It is also the case that when you are drinking, your brain becomes increasingly proficient at countering the effects of the alcohol. This is what tolerance is. So you need more and more to get the same effect.

So these are two central facets of drinking alcohol: over time, you need more and more to get the same effect, and every dose leaves an unpleasant feeling that requires another dose to get rid of it. This is why moderation is so inherently difficult. It’s easy to drink more and more. It’s hard to maintain the same dose (i.e., not drink more and more over time). It’s incredibly difficult to cut back because, when we do, we often don’t get the ‘buzz’ we’re looking for, and that buzz quickly dissipates, leaving an unpleasant feeling in its wake.

But what about all those people who go through life just having one or two drinks every so often? The fact is that these people are simply not as far down the line as those who drink larger amounts more frequently. That unpleasant feeling is there with every drink. But there are many reasons why we might feel unpleasant: an argument with a partner or friend, too much work or pressure at home, bills you can’t pay, relationship issues. Most of the time, we just get on with things. But when it’s a drug causing this feeling, and when another dose of the drug relieves it, our subconscious soon picks up on this fact. It may take days, weeks, months, or even years. But when it happens, when our subconscious realises that this particular bad feeling can be relieved by another dose of the drug, then every dose causes the desire for the next. This is the case with all addictive drugs, not just alcohol but nicotine as well.

When I started smoking, I only smoked at weekends for many months. Eventually, though, it crept up until I was smoking every day. And when I got to the stage where I was smoking every day, I could never easily return to just smoking at weekends. My brain learned, over time and repetition, that every dose left an unpleasant feeling when it wore off, a feeling that could be relieved by another dose.

This is learned, and what has been learned cannot be unlearned. That is why addiction to drugs is a one-way street. You can stop for days, weeks, or even years, but if you take another dose, it will wear off and leave an unpleasant feeling, and your subconscious will jump in and say, ‘Not to worry, I remember this feeling and I know just how to get rid of it: have another drink – not in an hour, or a day, or next week – have it NOW’.

People often blame themselves when they can’t moderate; they see it as a personal failing. Remember that it’s not you that’s at fault, it’s the nature of the drug. Drugs are not like food, where consuming them removes the desire for them. Drugs create the desire for themselves. The best and most effective way to remove this desire is to stop taking them.