Do you count the days? Whether you’re on day 1 or day 1000, it’s the moment that matters

Do you count the days? Whether you’re on day 1 or day 1000, it’s the moment that matters.

It’s been three years since I ditched the drink and decided to give sober living a go.

Some people question why I count the days I’ve been sober, and often there’s a heavy dose of assumption or judgement around how I must have ‘had a problem’ with alcohol if I’m still counting the days.

But for me, it’s not about that.

I didn’t start counting my sober days until I was into my second month of sobriety. During the first month, a part of me expected to be back on the wine by 1st October.

But as the loveliness of sobriety settled into my sleep-fuelled, clear-headed, present-every-day body and mind, I realised I didn’t want to let this feeling go. So 100 days became my goal.

To help reach my goal, I downloaded the ‘I Am Sober’ app to count the days for me.

I only occasionally check it—sometimes on the first of the month out of curiosity, or if there’s an awesome number approaching, like 123, 500, or 1000 days.

More importantly though, it gives me a reassuring reminder of how grateful I am for where I am. The sleep-fuelled, clear-headed, present-every-day loveliness is still with me and I’m never taking it for granted.

It’s also a reminder that I can do hard things. In a society saturated with opportunities to ‘just have the one’, if counting the days provides a metaphorical pat on the back, then I’m all in.

But there are still days when things go wrong in life and wine would be a ‘take the edge off’ default mode I could slip into. There are still celebrations and social gatherings with the obligatory ‘glass of fizz’ on arrival. And this is where mindfulness comes in.

Stopping for a moment, when faced with both the good times and the bad times that life will constantly keep throwing our way, is what matters. Being present.

What do I mean by ‘being present’? The easiest way is to bring your attention to your breath as you breathe in and out. Feel the breath enter your body and leave your body. Remind yourself that you’re alive in this moment, in your body, and you have this one precious life.

There’s no need to fling your shoes off, relocate to the floor and sit cross-legged for half an hour to have a mindful moment. As you breathe in and out, you realise you don’t want alcohol. You don’t want it in your body. You may want relief, escape, distraction, the dopamine hit, the habit. But not the alcohol.

And in this moment, in this pause, in this little pocket of space you’ve created for yourself, you realise you don’t need a drink right now. You can always not drink in this moment.

And in choosing not to drink in this moment, you then choose to fill this moment with all the other possibilities—clarity, creativity, calm, playfulness, sleep, laughter, conversation and so on.

So count the days, or don’t count the days. But always come back to the moment and how awesome it is without anything taking the edge off it.