Since I first started properly drinking around 11 years ago, I thought that blackouts were completely normal and just one of the average side effects of drinking alcohol that everyone experiences, I was so wrong. Not long ago I found out that no one I know had ever experienced a blackout, that’s when I realised that something can’t be right. I investigated what blackouts are and how they occur, and I was shocked and quite scared at what I read and couldn’t believe I had been doing this to myself for such a long time. If there’s anyone reading this who isn’t exactly sure on what a blackout is, here’s a little explanation: Alcohol-related blackouts are gaps in a person's memory for events that occurred while they were intoxicated. These gaps happen when a person drinks enough alcohol at a fast pace to temporarily block the transfer of memories from short-term to long-term storage—known as memory consolidation—in a brain area called the hippocampus. That sounds crazy, doesn’t it?! A lot of people confuse “blacking out” with “passing out”. Passing out is temporary loss of consciousness where a person can no longer physically or voluntarily act. However, a blackout caused by alcohol involves losing your memory while you are still conscious; you could be moving around, speaking, engaging, and interacting with people, and seem ok to those around you.
There are a couple of different types of blackouts, “grayouts” or “brownouts”. Having a greyout or brownout means you may have some gaps in your memory, but you will also remember some parts of the event, whereas when you have a total blackout, you have no recollection of what has happened while you were drinking. This can last for hours or could even block out the memory of the whole event to make you feel like you weren’t even there, I would always suffer the total blackout!
At first, I thought that blackouts were down to the amount of alcohol I was consuming, when in fact it is a result of how quickly the alcohol is being consumed rather than how much. For example, if I took 3 shots in a row, I would be more likely to experience a blackout than if I drank three alcoholic drinks over the course of a few hours. When I think back, I used to down drinks so quick, a lot quicker than the people I was with. I would always be the first to finish my drink and ready for another! Blackouts can be so dangerous; anything could happen to you during a blackout, and you would have no memory of it. You could attempt to drive, wander off alone, fall or badly injure yourself, have unsafe or non-consensual sex, or perform any other risky behaviours that can be harmful or potentially life-threatening. I’ve had so many scares caused by blackouts, some life-threatening and some just completely irresponsible. I’ve embarrassed myself multiple times around friends, family, and work colleagues and still to this day don’t remember the things I was told I did or said. It gives me so much relief to know that I won’t ever do this to myself again. It doesn’t make any sense to continue doing this to yourself, and there will be so many people out there who (like I used to) think this is normal. If you relate to any of this and you are still a drinker, I really hope this will help you think about your relationship with alcohol. On the other hand, if you no longer drink alcohol and you regularly experienced blackouts then I’m sure you will be able to relate to this in many ways and I’m so happy for you that you won’t have to go through that again.
