I've struggled with poor mental health and low self-worth throughout my life. Late in 2020, I went off work with stress, and I reevaluated my life. I realised I had gained a lot of success using the fear of failure as my driving force. I was looking for happiness in people, places, substances, and things, but everything I achieved only ever gave me an approximation of happiness. I started a self-development journey that allowed me to find out who I really was beyond all the labels and thoughts I had about myself. I came home, and that home is the love I have in my heart for myself, my connection to others, nature, and beyond. At this time, I also reevaluated my relationship with alcohol. It made me feel anxious; I could never have just one drink. It knocked me out of my routines for three or four days after a night out. So why was I still drinking? A good question! I felt I needed it to go on nights out; I'd be boring without it. I had a million other excuses. My first stint going alcohol-free lasted six months, but I longed for a beer again. I had achieved the six months through willpower, but that will always run out. I had one blowout, and then I did another three months AF. I thought this was evidence I could now moderate my drinking. How do you think that went? Yep, not very well! Before long, every night out was a big session. Then I woke up on the 27th of November 2022. Nothing bad had happened while drinking; I just decided I’m not doing it anymore, so I haven’t. The big change was my desire to stop, rather than the willpower I had used before. I knew I was gaining loads and losing nothing.
